Have you ever been anxious the night before a job interview or before a big trip? I feel sort of that way today. Before I say why, you have to promise not to judge. I'm going to a mom's group at church tomorrow morning and I'm putting Jackson in the childcare provided!!! We've gone to this church for several years now so I feel comfortable with the people working in the nursery and everything, but AH!
I've played out several scenarios in my head of how this might go. Jack could sleep the whole time. (If he does this, he will be grounded, because he needs to save that stuff for night time. Or at least when I'm home with him.) He could also smile and giggle and act goofy like he sometimes does when we're out. This inevitably causes everyone around us to say something like, "Oh he's so sweet and calm! You're so lucky!" To which I just smile and say thank you, but inwardly think, "Um...yea RIGHT! He's just charming you random people so he's got plenty of scream saved up for when we get home." Lastly, and what I fear (probably irrationally) is most possible, he will cry and scream most of the time. Jackson has recently developed a little bit of stranger danger. My mom, aunt and cousin recently had a chance to see him for a few minutes and he stuck that lip out so far he would've tripped on it if he were walking. (That comment is loosely based on a joke Jordan always says to me and Jackson....Tuck that lip in, soldier, you're going to get it caught on a trip wire!) Anywho. I'm nervous. I feel like I need to pack everything the child owns into a bag. And maybe a picture of me for when he gets lonely....lol. Ok I'm not that bad.
I am VERY much looking forward to spending some time with some other Christian moms, though. And I can't really imagine not having Jackson on my hip struggling and writhing and pulling my hair. So it will be a wonderful experience for us both. I've decided! :)
Oh and P.S. -- Jackson has a big ol' front tooth poking through now! Once it gets tall enough I'll take a picture so everyone can see. At this point I'd have to pry his mouth open with one hand and take the picture with the other hand and goodness knows that would never work!
Its hard for mama's but it will be sooo good for you both!! I'm assuming you're talking about MOPS and I have personally worked for MOPS for 4 years now and I LOVE IT!!! All the workers are finger printed if it makes you feel better and MOPS takes it very seriously about who watches the children. IF Jackson does scream, they will try to soothe him and if he is inconsolable after 15 minutes (or less if mama says so) then they will come get you. I know its hard to let somebody else watch your baby but it will get easier and it will be so good for Jackson AND YOU to have some time away from each other. It will make you a better, more sane Mommy and him a happy camper because he gets to play with new toys, other babies & new hair to grab on to :) hehe Sorry for my rambling but I do know how you feel & its totally understandable that you're worried! Good luck & make sure you put your big girl panties on tomorrow ;) lol
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